The Things We Do For RAMEN!
by burningshadow
Summary: Just your average, everyday, ordinary singing contest with free ramen on the line. Until some uninvited guests show up and want a shot...for more than just ramen. What will our heros do? Find out.
1. 100 Years

**The Things We Do For…RAMEN?**

_burningshadow_

Chapter One:

Three ninja could be found gathered on a bridge. One sat silently, tuning out the world. One stood, trying to start any kind of conversation with the silent boy. One was trying to get the second one to go out with him. None where succeeding.

"Sorry I'm late. I was stopped by a beggar, and he was just so hungry. So I took him out to eat at the ramen place (a/n what's it called?), and he…"

"Liar!" Sakura and Naruto screamed at the same time.

"Okay, but don't hate me yet. I have some thing special planned for today. You can hate me all you want _after_ I tell you what it is."

"Huh?"

"Just follow me," Kakashi said.

....................................................................................................................

"We have to what?!" Sakura was really confused.

"All you have to do is sing. Every genin in the Leaf will be participating. The winner will get all you can eat at the ramen place (a/n again…name?)," this got Naruto and Lee's attention, "and the winner's team will get the week off. All you have to do is come to the judges table and get a number, pick a song, sing it, and then when everyone's done we'll announce the winner. Sound like fun?"

"Okay," Sakura said, though you could tell she was thinking it over. "We'll do it if…you, Iruka, Asuma, Kurenai, and Gai do it too. Otherwise, there's no deal."

Kakashi had a short conversation with Iruka, Asuma, Kurenai, and Gai, then came back to tell them his answer.

"Okay. We'll do it."

"Good."

"First up," the announcer said, "Chouji."

"Go Chouji!"

"You can do it."

"Okay," the announcer said, talking only with Chouji, "what song are you gonna sing?"

....................................................................................................................

Chouji walked onto the stage and took the microphone. At first, no one recognized the song, but as soon as the first word was said, everyone recognized it.

_I'm 15 for a moment_

_Caught in between 10 and 20_

_And I'm just dreaming_

_Counting the ways to where you are_

"So he's singing 100 Years?" Ino was in a deep, one-sided conversation with Shikamaru. "That's an interesting pick."

_I'm 22 for a moment_

_She feels better than ever_

_And we're on fire_

_Making our way back from Mars_

_15 there's still time for you_

_Time to buy and time to lose_

_15, there's never a wish better than this_

_When you only got a 100 years to live_

"100 Years, huh? Do you like that song Sasuke?" Sakura asked, still trying to get a conversation started. "Well?"

"It's okay. If you're into that kind of stuff."

"Yeah, wait 'till you hear what I'm gonna sing."

"Can't wait," he said, maybe a little too sarcastically.

_I'm 33 for a moment_

_Still the man, but you see I'm a they_

_A kid on the way_

_A family on my mind_

_I'm 45 for a moment_

_The sea is high_

_And I'm heading into a crisis_

_Chasing the years of my life_

"Neji?"

"What Tenten?"

"What song are you gonna sing?"

"I don't know."

"You should sing something from Hoobastank."

"Who?"

"Oh, you'll never learn."

_15 there's still time for you_

_Time to buy, Time to lose yourself_

_Within a morning star_

_15 I'm all right with you_

_15, there's never a wish better than this_

_When you only got 100 years to live_

_Half time goes by_

_Suddenly you're wise_

_Another blink of an eye_

_67 is gone_

_The sun is getting high_

_We're moving on..._

"N…na…Naruto…."

"Huh?"

"Do you k…know what song you're gon…na do?"

"I have a few choices. You?"

"I have the per…perfect one in mind."

"Cool. Chouji's a pretty good singer. He'll be stiff competition."

"You really do love ramen don't you?"

"Oh, hi Sakura."

"Hi to you too!" she said as she whacked him on the back of the head.

_I'm 99 for a moment_

_Dying for just another moment_

_And I'm just dreaming_

_Counting the ways to where you are_

_15 there's still time for you_

_22 I feel her too_

_33 you're on your way_

_Every day's a new day..._

"He's good."

"Yeah, I don't really like the song though."

"You think he might have a chance, Asuma?"

"Kurenai, I have no idea. He's first, so he's already in first place."

"Yeah. I guess."

_OoOoo...._

"Hey, Lee?"

"Hey Tenten."

"What do you think about Chouji?"

"He's good."

"Sure is. I don't think I can beat him."

"Give it your best shot."

_15 there's still time for you_

_Time to buy and time to choose_

_Hey 15, there's never a wish better than this_

_When you only got a 100 years to live._

When he finished, the room was filled with clapping and cheers. As he walked down and took his seat, the announcer spoke up again.

"Next is…"


	2. Hello

**The Things We Do For…RAMEN?**

_burningshadow_

Chapter two:

"Next is…Tenten."

"Do good."

"Thanks Neji."

"Okay dear, what are you gonna sing?" the announcer was talking to Tenten in private.

....................................................................................................................

Tenten walked on to the stage and picked up the microphone. As the music began, you could hear Ino and Sakura saying that it was an Evanescence song.

_Playground school bell rings again_

_Rain clouds come to play again_

_Has no one told you she's not breathing_

_Hello_

_I'm your mind giving you someone to talk to_

_Hello_

"This song is so sad. Listening to it makes me want to start crying too."

"It's okay Ino."

"Don't encourage her Sakura."

"Naruto!"

_If I smile and don't believe_

_Soon I know I'll wake from this dream_

_Don't try to fix me, I'm not broken_

_Hello_

_I'm the lie living for you so you can hide_

_Don't cry_

"Shikamaru, can I sit with you guys? Naruto's over there and.."

"It's okay Sasuke, say no more."

"Arigatou."

_Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping_

_Hello_

_I'm still here, all that's left of yesterday_

The boy's claps could barely be heard over Sakura, Ino, and Naruto's sobs. Sakura and Ino because of the song, Naruto because of the beating he'd received from them.

It was the announcer's turn to speak again.

"Next will be…"


	3. Who Let The Dogs Out

**The Things We Do For…RAMEN?**

_burningshadow_

Chapter three:

"Next will be…Kiba."

"Can I bring Akamaru with me?"

"Sure child. Just come along. Now, what song will you be singing?"

"Do you have…"

Kiba probably received the most laughs. As soon as the first line was yelled, everyone was singing along or dancing in their seats.

_Who let the dogs out? [Who, who, who, who?!]_

_Who let the dogs out? [Who, who, who, who?!]_

_Who let the dogs out? [[who, who, who, who?!]_

_Who let the dogs out?_

"Just like Kiba to sing something like this."

"Sakura, you have no idea. He was thinking about singing I Like Big Butts before, but I guess he changed his mind."

"Oh, hey Tenten. Yeah, this song is much more a Kiba and Akamaru."

_When the party was nice, the party was bumpin' [Hey, Yippie, Yi, Yo]_

_And everybody havin' a ball [Hah, ho, Yippie Yi Yo]_

_I tell the fellas "…start the name callin'…" [Yippie Yi Yo]_

_And the girls report to the call the poor dog show up! [ha ha ha ha]_

"Kiba always was the life of the party."

"Sasuke, you have no idea."

"You know him better than us, Shino?"

"He's on my team! Bakas."

_Who let the dogs out? [Who, who, who, who?!]_

_Who let the dogs out? [Who, who, who, who?!]_

_Who let the dogs out? [Who, who, who, who?!]_

_Who let the dogs out? [Who, who, who, who?!]_

_I see ya' little speed boat head up our coast_

_She really want to skip town_

_Get back ruffy, Get that scruffy_

_Get back you flea infested mongrel [pant]_

"He's got a good Jamaican voice there."

"Yep. You should hear him at our team meetings."

"Sounds fun."

_ I'm gonna tell myself I might not get angry [Hey, Yippie, Yi, Yo]_

_To any girls calling them canine [Haye!! Yippie, Yi, Yo]_

_Tell the dummy "Hey Man, It's part of the Party!" [Yippie Yi, Yo]_

_You put a woman in front and ar man behind [ha ha ha ha]_

_I hear a woman shout out_

_Who let the dogs out [who, who, who, who ?!]_

_Who let the dogs out [who, who, who, who ?!]_

_Who let the dogs out [who, who, who, who ?!]_

_Who let the dogs out [who, who, who, who ?!]_

_Say, A doggy is nuttin' if he don't have a bone_

_All a doggy hold ya' bone, all doggy hold it_

_A doggy is nuttin' if he don't have a bone_

_All a doggy hold ya' bone, all doggy hold it_

"I didn't know Kiba could sing."

"I knew he could sing, but not like this."

"You're on his team, aren't you Hinata?"

"Hai."

"He must be a real interesting teammate."

_Who let the dogs out? [Who, who, who, who?!]_

_Who let the dogs out? [Who, who, who, who?!]_

_Who let the dogs out? [Who, who, who, who?!]_

_Who let the dogs out? [Who, who, who, who?!]_

"Very interesting."

_I see ya' little speed boat head up our coast_

_She really want to skip town_

_Get back ruffy, Get that scruffy_

_Get back you flea infested mongrel_

_Wait for y'all my dogs, the party is on_

_I gotta get my girl I got my mind on_

_Do you see the rays comin' from my eye_

_What could you be friend_

_that Benji man that's breakin' them down?_

_Me and My white short shorts_

_And I can't seek a lot, any canine will do_

_I'm figurin' that's why they call me faithful_

_'Cause I'm the man of the land_

_When they see me they do…ah-ooooo(howl)_

"That Kiba is one interesting character."

"Did you say something, Lord Hokage?"

"I said that Kiba has an interesting choice of music."

"Yes, I like chocolate shakes too. But have you heard this boy sing?"

_Who let the dogs out? [Who, who, who, who?!]_

_Who let the dogs out? [Who, who, who, who?!]_

_Who let the dogs out? [Who, who, who, who?!]_

_Who let the dogs out? [Who, who, who, who?!]_

_Who let the dogs out? [Who, who, who, who?!] [Yippie Yi, Yo]_

_Who let the dogs out? [Who, who, who, who?!] [Yippie Yi, Yo]_

_Who let the dogs out? [Who, who, who, who?!] [Yippie Yi, Yo]_

_Who let the dogs out? [Who, who, who, who?!] [Yippie Yi, Yo]_

_Who let the dogs out? [Who, who, who, who?!] [Yippie Yi, Yo]_

_Who let the dogs out? [Who, who, who, who?!] [Yippie Yi, Yo]_

_Who let the dogs out? [Who, who, who, who?!] [Yippie Yi, Yo]_

_Who let the dogs out? [Who, who, who, who?!] [Yippie Yi, Yo]_

_[Repeat to fade]_

"Way to go Kiba!"

'Kiba, Akamaru…You guys rock!"

"Sing it again!"

"Next up…"


	4. Roses

**The Things We Do For…RAMEN?**

_burningshadow_

Chapter Four:

(had to bump it up to R because of this song's lyrics…only that though…you can still read it…it isn't all bad…just the roses part…)

"Next will be…Lee."

"Me? Already?"

"What song will you be singing dear?"

....................................................................................................................

Lee received some far off stares as the music began playing. But as soon as he started singing, the whole place went quiet.

_Caroline! Caroline!_

_All the guys would say she's mighty fine_

_But mighty fine only got you somewhere half the time_

_And the other half either got you cursed out, or coming up short_

_Yeah, now dig this, even though_

_You'd need a golden calculator to divide_

_The time it took to look inside and realize that_

_Real guys go for real down to Mars girls, yeah!_

By the time he got to the chorus, everyone was singing along.

_I know you'd like to think your shit don't stink_

_But lean a little bit closer_

_See - roses really smell like poo-oo-ooo_

_Yeah, roses really smell like poo-oo-ooo_

_I know you'd like to think your shit don't stink_

_But lean a little bit closer_

_See - roses really smell like poo-oo-ooo_

_Yeah, roses really smell like poo-oo-ooo_

As the second verse came up, Gai began blushing furiously with embarrassment.

_Caroline! See she's the reason for the word "bitch"_

_I hope she's speeding on the way to the club_

_Trying to hurry up to get to some_

_Baller or singer or somebody like that_

_And try to put on her makeup in the mirror_

_And crash, crash, crash... into a ditch! (Just Playing!)_

_She needs a golden calculator to divide_

_The time it takes to look inside and realize that_

_Real guys go for real down to Mars girls, yeah!_

"What is Lord Hokage going to think of me now?" Gai wondered.

But no one could hear him because they were too busy singing the chorus.

_I know you'd like to think your shit don't stink_

_But lean a little bit closer_

_See - roses really smell like poo-oo-ooo_

_Yeah, roses really smell like poo-oo-ooo_

_I know you'd like to think your shit don't stink_

_But lean a little bit closer_

_See - roses really smell like poo-oo-ooo_

_Yeah, roses really smell like poo-oo-ooo_

"Lee has an interesting vocabulary."

"What was that Lord Hokage?"

"I said that Lee has an interesting vocab…."

"Hai, I didn't read the new files either. Why is that important?"

_Well she's got a hotty body, but her attitude is potty_

_When I met her at a party she was hardly acting naughty_

_I said "Would you call me?"_

_She said "Pardon me, are you ballin'?"_

_I said "Darling, you sound like a prostitute pausing"_

_Oh so you're one them freaks, get geeked at the sight of ATM receipts_

_But game been peeped, dropping names she's weak_

_Trickin' off this bitch is lost_

_Must take me for a geek a quick way to eat_

_A neat place sleep, a rent-a-car for a week, a trick for a treat_

_Now go on the raw sex, my AIDS test is flawless_

_Regardless, we don't want to get involved without lawyers_

_And judges just to hold grudges in a courtroom_

_I wanna see ya support bra not support you!_

_I know you'd like to think your shit don't stink_

_But lean a little bit closer_

_See - roses really smell like poo-oo-ooo_

_Yeah, roses really smell like poo-oo-ooo_

"Go Lee!"

_I know you'd like to think your shit don't stink_

_But lean a little bit closer_

_See - roses really smell like poo-oo-ooo_

_Yeah, roses really smell like poo-oo-ooo_

"Sing it!"

_I know you'd like to think your shit don't stink_

_But lean a little bit closer_

_See - roses really smell like poo-oo-ooo_

_Yeah, roses really smell like poo-oo-ooo_

"You the man!"

_I know you'd like to think your shit don't stink_

_But lean a little bit closer_

_See - roses really smell like poo-oo-ooo_

_Yeah, roses really smell like poo-oo-ooo_

"Awesome choice Lee! You've got colorful talent man!"

_Better come back down to Mars_

_Girl, quit chasin' cars_

_What happens when the dough gets low_

_Bitch, you ain't that fine_

_No way... no way... no way_

'I better stop him before he gets to the end.' Gai decided.

_Better come back down to Mars_

_Girl, quit chasin' cars_

_What happens when the dough gets low_

_Bitch, you ain't that fine_

_No way... no way... no way_

"Last parts the best man!"

"You can do it!"

"Bring it on home!"

_Crazy bit…_

"LEE!!!!!"

"Gai-sensei?"

"That's enough of that. Stop the music. I forbid you to sing the rest of that song."

"But sensei…"

"No buts. The language used is far to off for you to be using. Off the stage now!"

"Way to go Lee!"

"That was awesome."

"Way to color things up."

....................................................................................................................

"Next contestant is…"


	5. What If

**The Things We Do For…RAMEN?**

burningshadow

Gomen, gomen, gomen, gomen, gomen for taking soooo long to update. What can I say? I'm an extremely lazy kid with tons of homework. School sucks, surprise, surprise. I understand if you hate me, but hating me won't make me write chapters faster. So…what's the point? Please, no flames. I know this story's stupid, so don't flame me just to tell me that. I'll take criticism, but nothin' too harsh, okay? Now, on with the fic!

Chapter Five:

"Next contestant is Naruto," the announcer called over the crowd. Naruto rushed over. "Okay, son, what are you going to sing?" Naruto, not having ever heard much music, had no idea what song he wanted to perform. "Here, Hun. Try this," the announcer said as she ushered him onto the stage.

Everyone waited silently as the music began to play. They were so worked up from Lee's number that they had no idea what to expect from Naruto. 'Probably has to do with ramen,' they all guessed at the same time.

Naruto stumbled a bit at first, but he caught on quick.

_I can't find the rhyme in all my reason_

_Lost sense of time and all seasons_

_Feel I've been beaten down_

_By the words of men who have no grounds_

_Can't sleep beneath the trees of wisdom_

_When your ax has cut the roots that feed them_

_Forked tongues in bitter mouths_

_Can drive a man to bleed from inside out_

The whole room went silent as he began the chorus. None of them had ever heard Naruto sing, and he was surprisingly good. He was able to catch the hate and anger put into the words like no one else. If they didn't know any better they would have said that he'd wrote the song himself.

_What if you did?_

_What if you lied?_

_What if I avenge?_

_What if eye for an eye?_

"Man, Naruto's good," Chouji commented as Naruto started on the second verse.

"…" Shikamaru, for once, had no reply. He was too entranced, along with everyone else, to say anything at all.

_I've seen the wicked fruit of your vine_

_Destroy the man who lacks a strong mind_

_Human pride sings a vengeful song_

_Inspired by the times you've been walked on_

_My stage is shared by many millions_

_Who lift their hands up high because they feel this_

_We are one We are strong_

_The more you hold us down the more we press on_

"Naruto…" Sakura was at a loss for words. She had never considered Naruto to be good at anything except pulling pranks and acting stupid. She never dreamed he would be good at something like singing.

_What if you did?_

_What if you lied?_

_What if I avenge?_

_What if eye for an eye?_

Kakashi, along with the rest of the judges, were so entranced that none of them remembered to grade him.

_I know I can't hold the hate inside my mind_

_'Cause what consumes your thoughts controls your life_

'The dobe's really good.'

_So I'll just ask a question_

_A lonely simple question_

_I'll just ask one question_

_What if? What if?_

_What if? What if?_

_What If I?_

_What if? What if?_

_What if? What if?_

_What If I?_

_What if? What if?_

_What if? What if?_

_What If I?_

_What if? What if?_

_What if? What if?_

_What If I?_

_What if you did?_

_What if you lied?_

_What if I avenge?_

_What if eye for an eye?_

"Sakura, you might want to close your mouth," Ino whispered to her ex-friend and rival, whose mouth had been hanging open since the beginning of the song.

"You're one to talk, Ino-pig. You've drooled so much it would fill the Hokage Monument," Sakura commented. Ino's face turned beat red and she quickly hid her face from sight.

_What if your words could be judged like a crime?_

Naruto didn't know how much longer he could do this. He was running out of spit and he didn't know when to breathe so he never had enough oxygen.

_What if? What if?_

_What if? What if?_

_What If I?_

_What if? What if?_

_What if? What if?_

_What If I?_

_What if? What if?_

_What if? What if?_

_What If I?_

_What if? What if?_

_What if? What if?_

_What If I?_

He was very happy when it ended, and he politely bowed before heading off the stage. He was shocked when he was practically smothered by his friends who were telling him good job and how great it was.

"Okay, now that that wonderful performance is completed, we'll move on. Our next victim…I mean contestant is…"


	6. Cold

The Things We Do For...RAMEN!  
burningshadow

I'm SUPER sorry for my lack of updates. I've been coughcough busy. It's the weekend and I'm sick, so I've got nothing else to do. So I thought I'd write a new chapter. Well, here it is! Enjoy!

Chapter Six:

"Okay, now that that wonderful performance is completed, we'll move on. Our next victim…I mean contestant is Sasuke," the announcer spoke over the loud speaker.  
'Me?' Sasuke gasped. He'd never sung before in his life. Well, not counting that time in the Sand...but he had been drunk then! This was different. He was completely sober, and fully aware of the many eyes boring holes into his body.  
"So, sweetheart, what will you be singing?" the old lady asked him.  
"Umm...uh..." 'What do I do?' In truth, Sasuke had somehow managed to convince himself that he wouldn't have to sing. 'Well, so much for that theory.'  
"Are you going to stand around all day like that or are you going to pick one?" the lady asked, and he could tell she was becoming short on patience.  
"I'll take this one," Sasuke said as he grabbed a random CD and shoved it into her hands.  
"You sure about that?" she asked him.  
"Yeah, sure, whatever. Just play the stupid thing and let me get my humiliation over with."  
"Fine, fine. But it's your loss."

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

_Looking back at me I see that I never really got it right  
I never stopped to think of you  
I'm always wrapped up in things I cannot win  
You are the antidote that gets me by  
Something strong like a drug that gets me high_

Sasuke was sweating. He knew he sounded awful. He just prayed this song would end soon so that he could go back to being normal, non-singer Sasuke.

"Ino...pinch me."  
"Okay!" Ino reached over and pinched Sakura.  
"Ow!" Sakura said, rubbing the place where Ino had pinched her. "So, I'm not dreaming?"  
"No...Hey! He's getting to the chorus!"

_What I really meant to say  
Is I'm sorry for the way I am  
I never meant to be so cold  
Never meant to be so cold_

"Hey, Naruto, did you know Sasuke could sing?" Neji asked.  
"Well, there was that one time in the Sand..." Naruto grimaced, remembering the pounding he'd gotten later for filming the whole 'incident' and 'accidentally' giving a copy to their sensei. "But I figured it was due to the alcohol. I never guessed he could sing for real."

_What I really meant to say  
Is I'm sorry for the way I am  
I never meant to be so cold  
Never meant to be so_

"He's singing to me!"  
"No way, Ino-pig! He is sooo singing to me!"  
"ME!"  
"ME!"  
"Knock it off you two," one of the ANBU told them.  
"Gomen," they whispered in unison.

_Cold to you, I'm sorry about all the lies  
Maybe in a different light  
You can see me stand on my own again cause now I can see  
You are the antidote that got me by  
Something strong like a drug that got me high_

"So, Kakashi, it seems your team is doing rather well in this competition," Kurenai stated.  
"Yes, well, we're all very proud they can sing and all...but I'm worried nonetheless."  
"About what?" Asuma asked.  
"By holding this tournament, we have brought every available and unnecessary ninja we could round up. But in doing so, we've left the village unguarded. Uchiha Sasuke, who's wanted by Orochimaru, Uzumaki Naruto, who's wanted by the Akatsuki, and the Third, who has enemies in many places, are all in this very room at the same time. With the village unguarded like it is, I'm worried about how safe we'll be."  
"Oh, lighten up Kakashi. You said it yourself that we have every available ninja in this room. Even if all of those people attacked at once, they'd still have to face all of us. We do stand a good chance of winning."  
"I guess you're right. But keep up your guard anyway."  
"Sure thing, oh-paranoid-one."

_What I really meant to say  
Is I'm sorry for the way I am  
I never meant to be so cold  
Never meant to be so cold_

"Munch...munch...munch..." (Choji's eating chips! He eats rather loudly don't you think? No smacking! Chew and swallow, chew and swallow. Hmm, hmm, hmm)

_What I really meant to say  
Is I'm sorry for the way I am  
I never meant to be so cold  
Never meant to be so cold  
I never meant to be, so cold_

Outside the building, near one of the windows.

"Is everything ready?"  
"Hai."  
"Good. Commence plan crash party."  
"Roger," came the reply as the owner disappeared.  
"We shall be meeting very soon, Naruto-kun."

_I never really wanted you to see  
The screwed up side of me that I keep  
Locked inside of me so deep it always seems to get to me  
I never really wanted you to go  
So many things you should have known  
I guess for me there's just no hope  
I never meant to be so cold_

Sasuke was getting ready to give up everything (including his plans to kill Itachi) just so that this stupid song would end. He was sure if the music were a little quieter (and there wasn't an intense ringing in his ears) he would have been able to hear the crowds jeers and boos. He could picture them laughing clearly in his head.

_What I really meant to say  
Is I'm sorry for the way I am  
I never meant to be so cold  
Never meant to be so cold  
What I really meant to say  
Is I'm sorry for the way I am  
I never meant to be so cold  
Never meant to be so cold_

Finally, to Sasuke's joy and the crowd's disappointment, the song came to a close. Sasuke darted off stage, only to be hounded by his fans (some who he had no idea were his fans, some he didn't know, some he didn't want to know). They were screaming his name and cheering for him and praising him. Sasuke was shocked to say the least, or as shocked as Sasuke can get without actually looking shocked (though they saw it anyway).  
"Okay, the nex..."  
**BANG!** The door burst open, cutting the announcer off. All heads flew to find the cause of the disturbance. Some obviously distracted hands flew to where their kunai and shuriken pouches should have been, only to find them not there. It was then they remembered that in order to enter the building they had had to discard all of their weapons at the front door.  
"Actually," a voice from the frame of the door said, "I believe it's _my_ turn."

to be continued...dun dun dunnnn


End file.
